I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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