we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
