Your dad touched me again.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
