Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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