He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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