turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
