I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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