Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
