I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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