ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
