So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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