does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
