Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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