dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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