Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
