So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
