My balls are so social today.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
