why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
