I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
