seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
