Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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