I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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