She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
