found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
