I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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