when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
