i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
