Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We left the knife in your bed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I touched a dick in church today
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