So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
