We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
