Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
