There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
