Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize