hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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