We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
