I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
should my penis look like a turkey
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
