I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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