the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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