i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
