Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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