I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize