her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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