We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
