Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
soo... how was my night?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
