Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
