i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
