Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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