i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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