Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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