Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
