Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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