I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
