He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
