Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
