Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Houston, we have a blender
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
