i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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