I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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