Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
