I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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