I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
