You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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