At least make sure they are 18
Why
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
