I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
