Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
