I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just pee around me
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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