He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
